SINGAPORE
ANTI BAR AWARDS
AN EXCUSE TO INSULT GOOD FOLK
A LONG STUMBLING SHITSHOW
THE STORY
Back in the day when Singapore did not have cocktail bars like bubble tea joints in every corner, we got pink unicorns and gave it to random people we wanted to insult. It was good fun and we took it to the next level with a couple of parties at Skinny's over the years.
But things went to shit during the fuckin pandemic and everyone got serious chasing clout or licking balls to get awards. So it is time to bring back the merrymaking and the insults.
ANTI-BAR AWARDS 2023
LIFE-TIME ACHIEVEMENT
THE MANIFESTO
Anti Bar Awards will always be community driven. Drinks will always be free / BYO for industry folk on that day. This is a day to hang loose and chill, everything else is secondary.
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The work may be serious, but we should not take ourselves too seriously. We certainly will not take you seriously.
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If you can't take a joke, please quit the business for the sake of all concerned. To be nominated or awarded means that your peers feel comfortable enough to roast you. It is the most honest award you will get in your life. Get with it, or don't; no one really cares.
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No quarter will be given because you are some important figure. That only makes you a bigger target. Humble pie will be dished out in large quantities.
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Brands can help, but they shall not abuse.
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Fucks will not be given.
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Fuck your clout.
CHIEF NITWITS
GEORGE
He last made drinks in 2012. That was gin and tonic. Apparently owns a bar or two. Very full of it; ugly as a platypus and has two camel humps for a tummy. His only claim to fame is starting the anti bar awards.
DENISE
Always around, but no one really knows what she does. Used to be in PR, but now apparently works for a small batch craft rum brand that starts with bac and ends with rdi. Nobody has seen her in the office though.
DAVE
Used to be bartender, but got old and rusty. So went to work for the Bar Awards. That died. So he now works for some brand or the other. Nothing special. His camera takes good photos.
SONNY
Some Korean dude (from Hong Kong?) who apparently owns a pizza joint. Nobody has been there. Business must be pretty shit coz he is always hanging out at bars trying to impress bartenders. Maybe he wants a career change.
SYLVESTER
There is nothing this guy will not sell. He started hanging out with the craft beer boys and convinced everyone that he is into craft. Now works for some big fucking brand selling a "sold-out" beer festival or some shit. Thankfully he is shit at selling.